“How does that make you feel?”

It’s nice to be asked that
When the person asking it actually cares to hear your answer.

But what if you couldn’t say
Or express it to that person?
And what if you couldn’t tell anyone else for that matter?

Its not because you are trying to keep secrets.
It’s also not because you are in bad faith with yourself.

But because you fear their judgment.
You fear what they have to say.

You want to be able to tell them your feelings.
But you can’t.

You just let it eat away at you instead.

So when you ask, “how are you,”
And I only reply with “okay,”

Just comfort me with your presence.

Don’t try to comfort me with advice and words.

Just look at me.

I need you to at least look at me like you care
Without asking me all of the other questions.

But if you can’t comfort me,
Just leave.
Leave me alone and let me be.

I’m strong enough to let it eat me.

Sometimes I just need someone else’s gaze to help me remember that I’m actually alive.

Help me remember what it really feels like to actually live.

I’m starting to forget again.

Please look at me.